After those lovely few weeks that I had off from treatment it was back to it again. Me and Mum were sitting in Sucheta’s office listening to her talk about how the treatment would commence. When I thought of chemo, I pictured someone sitting in a hospital chair hooked up to a machine that would pump chemo into their body, however what Sucheta to me was very different. She told me that the form of chemo that they thought it would be best for me to have came in tablet form, therefore I would no longer have to travel up to the hospital every day, I could take the tablets at home. “Brilliant!”, I thought. “No more long journeys”. We would have to go up every month however to see Sucheta to tell her how everything was going, but still that sounded ok to me.

I was told that I would have to take the chemo tablets for one week in every four. I.e. I’d have a week of taking the tablets then have three weeks off before repeating the same sequence 5 more times to complete the six months of treatment. I can definitely do this”, I thought. “I only have to take some tablets, I’m not going to be hooked up to a machine feeling sick and horrible”. Famous last words.

The amount of chemo I had to take depended on my weight. I was then prescribed the right number of tablets to take. The tablets came in the amount of mg and depending how many mg of chemo I had to have depended on the number of tablets.  For example, if I had to have 220mg, I would have two 100mg tablets and a 20mg tablet to take.

After picking up my first lot of tablets we drove home, had a normal evening then went to bed. I was advised to take the chemo tablets just before I went to bed. I remember sitting on the side of the bed with my Mum to take my tablets. I hadn’t yet seen them and was surprised when Mum got them out of the packaging to as how big they were. Being used to only having to take your average tablet such as paracetamol or ibuprofen, these scared me a little. I popped the first one in my mouth and swallowed it. It was horrible, the tablet felt ten times bigger in my mouth and it just didn’t feel right.

I threw up shortly after, the tablets just made me feel so sick, even on the first night of taking them. My Mum has told me that she worried that night whether the chemo would have been digested into my system as I had thrown it back up very shortly after taking it. We soon got some anti-sickness tablets sorted, to stop me from being sick but it did not stop me feeling so.


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