Is it over yet?

I had just finished my last round of chemotherapy. Great! I thought, no more feeling sick no more ups and downs it can only be up up up from here!

I had an MRI scan to see how the 6 months of chemotherapy had affected the tumour in my brain. About a week after the scan had been done, me and Mum had a meeting with Sucheta (my doctor) to see how the treatment had gone in the sense of it attacking the tumour and getting rid of the cancer.

I was told that the chemo had gone really well, I had reacted well to it and it had helped to get rid of some of the cancer, but there was still cancer bits to get rid of. I wondered what they would try on me now, hopefully nothing as bad as chemo. I thought to myself that I could probably do radiotherapy again as my left arm was now a lot less painful meaning it would be a lot easier to lie still than it was before! I remember Sucheta telling us the options. More radiotherapy was one, but she said she didn’t recommend it as it hadn’t really attacked the cancer, but she said that the chemo had and she therefore suggested that I should do another six months of chemotherapy treatment.

My heart sank when I heard this, I had felt so happy after I had taken my last lot of chemo, thinking I will never have to do this again, yet I was now being told I’d have to go through it all over again. At first, I was adamant that I wasn’t going to do it, I just thought that I couldn’t, that I didn’t have the energy to go through all the ups and downs of chemo again. I’d had enough of feeling sick and being knocked down every time I had to start taking another week’s dose of those horrible tablets. I didn’t think I’d be able to cope with taking another day’s worth of chemo let alone six months.

After a few minutes of tears and thinking it all through I decided that I would have another six months of chemotherapy. As much as I didn’t want to, I knew it was for the best, somehow that little bit of cancer still left in my brain had to be attacked and chemo was the best way to go about it.

I went home that day thinking that I needed to be strong now, get these next six months over and get that cancer out of my brain.


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