So, as I said, in my previous post, What Happens Next, it was time to start thinking about going back to college. A meeting had been set up between myself, Mum and Judith, the head of the second year at the college, so me and Mum went off to go to this meeting.
When I arrived, it felt really strange to be back, everything looked the same, but I felt that I shouldn’t be there. Me and Mum had met Judith and she took us for a walk through the college to her office. On the way I saw a few of my friends, who were all so pleased to see me back on college grounds, unfortunately though I only had a few seconds to talk with them.
We walked into the office and sat down and started to discuss my options. It was pretty clear to all of us that I would have trouble going back to the subjects that I had previously been studying due to my lack of fitness etc. but then came the real blow. Judith told me that the year that I was in before I was diagnosed was the last year on the syllabus that we were on, the year below us was on a different syllabus so therefore I would not be able to join them, I would have to join the year below and start from the beginning of college again.
At first I was adamant that this could not happen, I thought there must be some way of coming back and being only one year below all my friends. I couldn’t possibly be two years behind. Unfortunately, there was no way around this and I had to go into the year below the year below as such. I was devastated. All I had heard from my friends in the last few months was about the university’s they had been applying for, how excited they were to be going to someplace new. I had wished that I could have joined them in their excitement, but I always thought it’ll only be another year and then I’ll be the same! Now I was going to be two years behind, studying with people two years younger than me, I was going to stick out like a sore thumb.
In the end I agreed to do it, trying to see the positive side. Starting from the beginning again meant that I could do any subjects that I wanted to, so off I went to try and decide what would suit me best.